Emotionally constipated. Spiritually unhinged, and now… stylishly practical.

This tote isn’t just a bag, it’s an attitude. With its bold typography and unapologetically sarcastic design, it’s made for the people who process life with a side of dark humour. Perfect for hauling groceries, books, or the emotional baggage you’ve decided not to unpack today.

Durable, lightweight, and impossible to ignore, this tote makes the ultimate sidekick for shopping trips, uni runs, or spontaneous existential crises. It also makes a wickedly funny gift for friends who thrive on sarcasm, mental health real-talk, or just love a bag that speaks louder than words.

Product Features

100% polyester body for durability and quick drying

Reinforced stitching on handles for added strength

Boxed corners for extra storage space

Available in multiple sizes to fit your needs

Bold design that carries both your stuff and your personality

Care Instructions

Remove all items from the bag before cleaning

Pre-treat stains with stain remover if needed

Mix warm water with laundry detergent, clean with a washcloth or soft brush

Leave to air dry

Because therapy is expensive… but this tote isn’t.